My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
My uncle's dying wish - he wanted me on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
~ Rodney Dangerfield
When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
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